Bill Petro

CINCO DE MAYO

Cinco de Mayo is frequently regarded as the Mexican equivalent of the United States 4th of July. This is incorrect. In actuality, it is the equivalent of the “5th of May” in the Spanish language. Another misconception is that this has something to do with Mayonnaise. That too is a bum spread, as the condiment had its origin with the French, who will come into our story later. Nor does it have to do with County Mayo in Ireland, though we’ll make sure the Irish get into this story at some point. Rather, the “Battle of Cinco de Mayo” or specifically the Battle of Puebla, occurred on May 5, 1862.

Background: President Benito Juarez, who had been Zapotec Indian minister of Justice in Juan Alvarez‘ cabinet in the 1850’s, entered Mexico City on January 11, 1861 and promptly expelled the Spanish minister, the papal legate, and members of the episcopate. Additionally, he took steps to enforce the decrees of 1859, dis-endowing and disestablishing the church. He could not have known at this time that almost a century later, “antidisestablishmentarianism” would become the longest word in the English dictionary. Although Juarez was recognized by the United States and had received both moral and military aid from the US, there were over $80,000,000 in debts at that time to Europe alone. The Mexican Congress in July 17, 1861 decreed the suspension for 2 years of interest payments on the external national debt, and 3 months later a convention occurred between Great Britain, France, and Spain calling for joint intervention in Mexico.

As European forces advanced, and particularly French troops, their advance was checked at Puebla on May 5, 1862. The Mexican forces under the command of Texas-born General Ignacio Zaragosa managed to defeat a larger and better equipped French force.

However, the next year Napoleon III of France sent almost five times as many troops to Mexico to take over and install a puppet ruler, his relative the Archduke Maximillian of Austria, though he was defeated four years later.

Many believe that Cinco de Mayo is universally celebrated in Mexico as a day of independence. This is wrong on two counts. First, the call for Mexican independence, the Grito de Dolores, was made by Miguel Hidalgo at the town of Dolores on September 16, 1810, though it was not recognized by the Spanish viceroy until 1821. Secondly, because it is not a federal holiday, Cinco de Mayo is not widely celebrated in Mexico, except in Puebla, the largest city in the state of Puebla, Mexico. Elsewhere in Mexico it is observed with eating, drinking, and dancing. In the United States, however, it is widely recognized along the border states that have significant Mexican-American populations, especially in California, to celebrate Hispanic pride and culture, not unlike Irish-Americans do on St. Patrick’s Day.

Bill Petro, your friendly neighborhood historian
www.billpetro.com

EARTH DAY

April 22 is called Earth Day because it both commemorates and celebrates the observance of the anniversary of our discovery of planet Earth. At this time, by all accounts, there is general agreement that Earth is far superior to the place from which we came, as we shall see below.

Recently, however, there has been increased concern regarding our displacement of the original aboriginal inhabitants, as is often the case with more “enlightened” conquerors, as we like to think of ourselves.

The indigenous population, a kind of Eukaryota or more specifically Archaeplastida, is known in the vernacular as plants. You cannot have missed the increased coverage in the media on all things “green.” Of course, the Irish were the first to capitalize on this theme, but now everyone seems to have jumped on the bandwagon, with everything from green vehicles to green computing.

Even Google is gaining ground in going green, while garnering gajillions of Gmail guests giddy with great gobs of gleefully garnered gigabytes of storage.

Increased recognition of this under-represented earlier population of our planet, sometimes persecuted almost to the point of extinction — when was the last time you saw a chocolate bush — has brought greater attention to rampant plantocide: witness for example that in Kansas whole fields of wheat continue to be slaughtered.

Hence, this year there is special attention paid to underprivileged plants, with the motto:

“Take A Plant To Lunch…But Don’t Eat It.”

Instead, responsible Earth people might consider an alternative. One could chose instead animals, which already have the good sense to be made of meat. And they are higher in protein, like chocolate, one of the other four food groups.

So, in celebration, let’s respect our plant brethren. They’re often at least as intelligent as some people you know: have you ever noticed how a sunflower tracks the movement of the sun? Think about it. They’re also quiet and, while generally not good conversationalists, are better behaved than many human children.

Of course, this is with the exception of fungi, the so-called “trailer trash” of the plant kingdom, which have been disowned for phylogenic reasons, not to mention their being “photosynthetically challenged.” Some of these heterotrophs have, through remedial education, found a home in breweries and Italian cuisine.

Nevertheless, plants, as you’ll recall, are one of the reasons we came to Earth. Some of the other reasons include:

• Location: it’s right here. Look just below your feet.
• Memorable: it’s shaped like the new AT&T logo
• Spherical: which makes it convenient for those “round the world” trips and has a much more pleasing shape than where we came from. Did you ever wonder why we called the previous generation “squares”?
• Great restaurants: and great atmosphere, unlike, for example the Moon which has great restaurants but no atmosphere.
• Oxygen-Nitrogen atmosphere: so crucial for those of us who breathe, and better than methane in so many ways.
• Gravity: which is set at a convenient one “g” is quite handy for keeping everything in its place.
• Neighbors: generally far enough away that they don’t bother us much, and those who do are generally more intelligent than average, needing to understand things like calculus, tachyons, and three-phase cyclotronic nuclear-fissionable uranium isotope molecular reconstructors for trans-dimensional physics.

I don’t know about you, but I’m planning on spending the rest of my life right here on Earth.

Bill Petro, your friendly neighborhood Earthling
www.billpetro.com